‘My Boyfriend Raped Me Repeatedly’ Girlfriend Exposed Her Rapist BF. (5 Photos)

I never thought it would happen to me. I was always cautious. I followed the rules. But when I fell in love, things changed. I started rethinking my beliefs and values instead of rethinking my relationship. I was sure he loved me. I was sure I loved him. He was my first serious relationship. All I wanted was to be a good girlfriend and for him to be happy. But I had no idea of what was expected in a normal relationship. I had no basis for comparison.

It sounds crazy and lame, but at 15, I wasn't ready for my first kiss. Most people think kissing isn't a big deal, but to me, it was. When I realized my boyfriend at the time wanted to, I realized I was scared. I confided in my mom, and she said I should just tell him, so I did. He seemed okay with it, but he didn't want to wait forever. I quickly decided I was being silly and gave in, but it felt like as soon as he got his first kiss, he wanted to make out. As soon as we made out, he wanted to touch me, and for me to touch him. He kept pressuring me until finally I gave in and touched him a few weeks later, but I still wasn't comfortable with him touching me. About a month after our first kiss, he got tired of waiting and sexually assaulted me

I tried to get away from him, but he had his arm around me and was holding me to him. He let me go when he was done "fingering" me. I was so mad and upset, and he acted like he didn't understand why. I was practically raised in the capital of the Bible Belt, a small town in southern Tennessee. I never planned on having sex—or doing anything beyond kissing—before getting married. I wanted to earn my white wedding gown, and he knew it; he even agreed with me in the beginning.

By the time sex was actually mentioned, I had lost all capability of telling him “no”. We hadn't been dating even five months before he made it to home base. I'm actually surprised I lasted that long, or at least shocked he didn't physically force it before then. Throughout all of it, EVERY TIME I told him “no”, he gave me a look like nothing could hurt him more than my telling him “no”. Every time he gave me that look, it was like I was failing him somehow. I never considered breaking up with him. Nobody knew what was happening, and frankly, I didn't want anyone to know. Everybody thought I could do better, but he was my first love. I felt so strongly that even after everything he did, I still loved him months after we finally broke up. He knew he was playing me.